what do i do...

In a nutshell, I guide people through the process of discovering and clarifying their identity.  Then, I help them to reform their world to remove anything that causes them to believe they have to be something other than who they really are. 


Let me give a few real-life examples...




  • the lady who never spoke up in her toxic marriage for fear of what she might lose, who realised her voice was not only valid but necessary

  • the 20-year-old guy in the closet because his faith community wouldn't accept his sexual orientation, who came out and started to live as an authentic gay Christian 

  • the guy who worked for a big corporate and fitted into their box of 'male leader', who realised he was actually deeply empathetic and creative, who changed the rules and created a whole new work identity

  • the couple who had zero communication and slugged along in life, who named their marriage values and identity and changed their whole way of being together

  • the woman who realised the way she had been living out her faith didn't work, but she was too scared to question the powers that be, who started to walk out a faith that brought her to life and stopped staying silent on the areas she disagreed with

  • the woman who was stuck in a job that paid the bills but starved her soul, who realised why, quit her job, retrained and can't wait to get up every morning

  • the mom who knew her way of parenting wasn't working, who had a lightbulb moment about what was missing, who now loves the way she interacts with her kids and feels less exhausted and disappointed at the end of every day




See? We all have spaces in our world where we are tolerating values,  behaviours or beliefs that we know aren't okay, but the fear of losing belonging, safety or success keeps us quiet and stuck. By gaining clarity on your authentic self, you'll figure out why tolerating certain things goes against your very being. Then the fun begins! 



who do i work with...

Anyone willing to do the work of identity and reform! I've worked with business leaders and church leaders and millennials and stay at home moms and grandparents who want to love their latter years. We're reformed teams and couples and families and organisations. I've coached people on their health, their sibling relationships, their toxic work environment and their stance on whether God is a man (that one was particularly fun :)) 


The truth is, people are people. The specifics is the willingness to look at the bit of your life that isn't working, with honesty and courage, in order to make some necessary changes. 


I don't work with people who want to pin the problem on someone else. I can't coach your husband if he's not in the room, sorry. I don't work with people who want an easy fix or a magic potion, you gotta do the work. I don't work with people under 18 on their own. And I don't deal well with people who make excuses, that's no fun for anyone. 



what to expect...

Honesty. I don't believe in shielding people from the truth. I call bullshit a tonne, expect the odd cuss word when needed. But also kindness, I tend to fall in love with my clients because brave courageous people make my heart sing, and this is brave courageous work. 

If you want a straight-laced exec coach, I am not your girl. I'm not a therapist, that's different but I'm happy to discuss what the differences are so you can make a choice whether therapy or coaching. I'm not gonna fix you, because you're not broken - just journeying. So you can expect a guide who's gonna help you on this part of the journey.


I have a strong faith but am no longer a church-goer, I say that because I come from a worldview that you were created intentionally and specifically. I believe you are divinely inspired, and it's why I think people are glorious when they actually start being themselves and stop all the pretending. But I'm not someone who's gonna bash you over the head with religion (me and religion fell out a few years ago). So whether you have a specific faith tradition or not, I wanna see you discover your God-given identity and then do the deep work of letting your soul guide you to a life, career, marriage, friendship, fill-in-the-gap... that you can't wait to jump out of bed for.


Also, expect enthusiasm, lots of passionate conversation, any wisdom I can offer, lots of new ideas, probably a book recommendation or ten. You can count on total confidentiality, total commitment to your journey and a refusal for me to pretend to be anything I'm not.



what now...

If you wanna do identity reform in your workplace, in your work team or in any business capacity, jump over to this webpage:  https://www.reformcoaching.com/


If you're interested in personal identity reform - in your health, faith, marriage, friendship, understanding of your won awesomeness - check out the coaching packages on this site - click here.


Alternatively, you could listen to the reform podcast for some inspiration, check out my Instagram for ideas, or dig into one of the free or paid resources I've created. 


I also offer a free introductory session so you can meet me, and we can chat about what may be a good way forward for you. 



Just don't stand still. Don't keep tolerating. Don't sell yourself short, or stay silent, or put up with. Whatever you do, don't do those. 



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© 2019 Helen Cottee / The Reform Coaching Group. All rights reserved..